The Claiming of Prince Quatre
By Tralla
For the purposes of this fic:
“witch” functions as a derogatory form of “sorceress”. It signifies a woman who doesn’t have her craft down or one who uses magic for petty or selfish purposes.
“Hey. You okay in there?”
Prince Quatre looked up from his hunched position. He stood up from the wooden bench on which he’d sat and approached the bars of the cell, towards the direction from which the voice had come.
His eyes met with the owner. “Prince Duo?”
“Ah, come on. Lay off the titles. We’re both princes. Just call me Duo.”
Instead of exchanging his name sans title, Quatre asked, “What am I doing here? This has nothing to do with treasonous acts of sneezing, does it?”
“You’re a swift one.”
“Where is my sister?” asked Quatre as he drew closer to the bars.
“She’s fine. I talked Heero out of locking her out of the castle.”
Quatre blinked back at him.
“Anyhoo, it’s time to get you out of here.”
“I’ve been cleared of all charges?”
Duo snorted, “Right, like that’s going to happen while Heero’s having some serious bra lust.”
“What?”
Duo sighed. “I’m just going to break it to you. Heero’s got this weird thing…”
“Can you free me now? You have keys, don’t you?”
“Keys…no.”
“Then how are you going to get me out of here?”
“I’m just here to give some advice…and insurance.”
“Insurance?”
“I beat Heero here. Lured him away by leaving a trail of panties heading towards the other side of the castle…he’s probably picked them all up by now, meaning he’ll be here soon enough. In the mean time, here.” Duo pulled out a scroll from the breast of his garment and presented it.
Quatre took the scroll in hand. “What is it?”
“If Heero tries anything, that’s your secret weapon. Understand?”
“Tries anything?? I don’t understand--” The blonde’s eyes widened. Slowly, it dawned on him what he’d walked into.
Duo watched the realization awaken on his face. “Yeah, you’ve just been imprisoned by a prince with a crossdressing fetish. And you’re the main attraction.”
“But...I don’t.”
“You think it matters to him? Look, do us all a favor. Don’t let him talk you into it. He’s going to say it’s only for one time. And, then he’s going to want you to walk around in high heels, then he’s going to say that you’re not doing it right, and then he’s going--” Duo looked up to face a wide-eyed Quatre. He coughed.
“He does this often?”
Duo snorted.
Quatre appeared pensive for a moment before saying, “Has it ever occurred to you that your prince--”
“Hey, he’s not _my_ prince. _I_ don’t want him! It was dark, and his voice was higher pitched—Uhh, ignore what I just said.”
Quatre sighed before beginning again, “Has it ever occurred to you that Prince Heero may simply favor men, but can’t allow himself to unless there’s some element of the feminine to justify it?”
“Yeah…well, maybe. But before you showed up, he didn’t care if it was a princess in a prince’s attire or prince as a princess. It was all the same thrill.”
“Before, I showed up—What does that mean?”
“Looks like you’re the perfect mix.” Duo rubbed the back of his neck and averted his gaze. “Don’t get me wrong. When I was younger, I looked kind of girlish. But that was _years_ ago and now, although I’m a pretty boy, I look like a guy.”
“What are you trying to say? That I’m effeminate? Or, that I have feminine features?”
Duo coughed. “Both.”
“I’m already locked up. I don’t need to be insulted.” Quatre sighed. “Why do you have such a strong interest in all of this?”
“Me? Well, if Heero doesn’t get himself a bride by coronation, I get passed the buck.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Heero’s father was a crafty bastard. He knew what he was dealing with so he made an edict that said that by his 20th birthday Heero _has_ to find a fiancée and _has_ to marry in order to rule. But the bastard forgot to take out the loopholes. If that numb-nut doesn’t find a bride by coronation, I have to hold the throne until he does. I read the documents. Heero doesn’t know that I know. Damn you, stepfather. You old fart!!!”
The ground began to shake.
“Ok, ok. Geez. I’m sorry.” Duo scoffed. “Damned dead, always coming back to cause earthquakes.”
Quatre shook his head. He’d left Sandrock to be surrounded by kooks.
“Are you cursing father again?”
Duo appeared sheepish. “Heero…fancy meeting you here. Yeah…I was heading out…See ya.” With that said, Duo quickly exited. Sooner or later Heero was going to figure who’d laid those panties out and he wasn’t going to be around when it happened.
Quatre watched Duo leave, but his attention was brought back to Heero when the prince spoke to him.
“I’ve brought you something.”
Quatre was marked by a look of caution. He tried to curb his imagination. It was whispering something about lace underwear with frilly bows and a missing crotch. Finally, after taking in Heero’s smoldering gaze, the blonde looked away and sighed. Thinking of Iria, and salvaging a potential marriage between the two, he did his best to sound civil under the unnerving attention. “I’m not interested in wearing anything a woman would. I have 29 sisters. If I ever had any inclination to, it would have reared its head by now.” He returned Heero’s gaze. He was about to say more when Heero presented him--- “A ribbon?”
Heero held it out to him through the bars.
It was lavender and had sheen. Quatre stared at it. It was his favorite color and it was shining back at him. He watched it the way a cat watches a dangling string of yarn. He wanted to paw at it. It was obvious from his face.
“I have ribbons in different pastels.”
The blond was awakened from his stupor at the tremor in Heero’s voice. His brow creased with worry. This was much worse than Prince Duo had explained. He could see it on Heero’s face. It was faint, but his cheeks had grown pinker since his arrival. His eyes were tender and needy.
That sight snapped Quatre back into reality, bringing his captive state to the forefront of his attention. He tried to appear kind rather than dismissive as he said, “I’m sorry. I am the only male heir and I am already betrothed. It would be selfish of me not to set you straight--” Quatre choked. He looked back at Heero. No, he couldn’t say the word “straight” in conjunction with Heero without cracking up. Instead, he managed a slightly bemused expression of guilt. “Your gift is appreciated, but I cannot accept it knowing what it means.”
There were noises coming from the little adjoining room, the one attached to the one in which Une’s cauldron was located. She snorted. The tax collector must have returned to his human form and therefore awakened from his weeklong sleep. He was probably puttering around, trying to figure out how he got inside of a small room with stone walls, a wooden floor, and a small wooden bed. But the benign supposition went out the window when Une heard the noise of breaking furniture. The tax collector was taking apart the bed and making a racket in the process.
In a fury, Une strode over to the door leading to the little room and threw it open. Her wrath disappeared as a gust of apprehension blew in. Instead of the aged tax collector there was a boy with long, black hair and an enraged but wary expression. There was a sheet drawn around him to cloak what would have been his naked form. He held out one of the legs of the bed in front of him as though it was a sword.
Une’s hand still clutched the doorknob as she snapped, “Little man, what are you doing in my room? Where is the tax collector?”
“There was never a tax collector. You abducted the wrong person, witch.”
“I am a sorceress. Regardless, where is the old man I took into my charge?”
“You’re looking at him. Either learn your craft past the elementary level or relegate yourself to the hearth because your inexperience is pathetic.”
A nerve behind Une’s right eyebrow twitched erratically. She raised a hand to turn this mouthy miscreant back into a bird but was interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps.
Une sneered and let out a laugh. Her eyes snaked down the boy’s smaller frame and lingered on his lower region. “I wonder what else I shrunk.”
“Laugh on your own time--”
Without heeding the boy, Une left him to fume.
“So, what’s the verdict?” asked Duo. He was leaning against a tree waiting for Heero to walk past. “Is it silk stockings or his freedom?”
“He’s betrothed.”
“Where are you going?”
“To soothsayer Une’s.”
“You’re visiting the bird lady? Again?” Duo decided to follow, but he sulked while doing so. Like he wanted to climb 153 steps to see some lady who hung out with birds rather than humans. But, he couldn’t just let Heero do what he wanted, _especially_ since that would ultimately curb him from doing what _he_ wanted. He was too young, too free-willing, and irresponsible for that matter to be stuck holding the throne from some prince with sexuality issues.
As they walked up the steps to soothsayer Une’s domicile, Duo glared at Heero from behind. His legs were getting tired and Heero was showing no signs of fatigue. Duo snorted. He knew Heero constantly climbed the tower. It was no wonder Heero had thighs of steel. He could crack walnuts with them. Duo frowned. How the hell did he know _that_? He tried to keep his gaze averted from Heero’s tight rear as they ascended the last steps.
It seemed that the sorceress had heard them approaching because she opened the door just as Heero’s hand was an inch from it.
Without a word, she left the doorway and walked to the center of the room. Her attention seemed to be drawn to a door leading to an adjacent room. But she was only distracted for a moment because Heero stepped into her line of vision.
Duo had followed. It was the first time he’d seen the bird lady up close. She rarely left her tower and when she did, she usually haunted the forest, probably with the intention of cavorting with her feathered friends. Duo snorted but the disdainful noise was cut short when he saw the look Lady Une was giving Heero. She looked like she wanted to fillet him, put him on a stick, and suspend him over a roaring fire: Heero as a barbecue treat. Duo hadn’t been tuning into what she and Heero were talking about. But, whatever it was, Lady Une had grown past using her glare to communicate her ire. She was mouthing off.
“I don’t have to listen to this nonsense. Get your act together or clean your ears out. I’m not going to repeat myself again.”
Duo arched an eyebrow. From the way Lady Une treated Heero, perhaps the prince was into S&M as well as crossdressers. Given the frequency of his visits, it seemed he had a penchant for abuse by the hands of this bird-loving sorceress.
Duo shifted his weight as he took a closer look at Une. She was a little stern looking, but that was no doubt due to Heero’s constant harassment. Duo’s gaze grew both discerning and appreciative. Nice breasts, that was apparent from the revealing dip of her gowns. Pliant cherry lips. Trim waist. Good hips. Duo walked around to get a better look. Tight rear. Definitely nice. He circled around to his original position. His gaze took in her stature. She was taller by a few inches. Once again, Duo leered at Une’s bosom. Who cared about her height? He’d show her _his_ inches. Duo laughed darkly.
As she was verbally tearing into Heero, Une suddenly paused. For some reason, she felt the sudden need to put on another layer of clothing. But her attention was drawn back to Heero and what he was requesting in regards to the captive blonde prince.
Une took in Heero’s obstinate gaze before clarifying what she had just heard. “You…want me to give him breasts…and leave his nether regions alone?” Une blinked back at Heero. “And you want this…so you can at least talk him into wearing a corset? Perhaps, I’m the only one who has the balls to say it--”
“Balls?”
“Prince Heero, get your mind out of the gutter.” Disgusted, Une sighed. “Even if it were within my power to turn your consort into a hermaphrodite, I wouldn’t. It would be an abomination. He has not done anything to warrant it.”
“He’s resisting,” said Heero.
Une’s fingers furled and unfurled at her sides. She tried to keep her temper in check. But her mind kept rambling…if she just gave Heero some feathers, that might set him straight--- Une suddenly began laughing. Her mood lightened. Heero…straight.
Both Heero and Duo watched her cackle.
Apparently, the sorceress wouldn’t be of any use to them.
But both princes were interrupted from witnessing Une’s sudden flight into madness by a sudden irate voice.
“Woman! What are you crowing about?? I told you this is no laughing matter--”
Both Heero and Duo turned to see a 15 year old boy, an angry one with black hair, who had a bed sheet cloaking his nudity.
“Hey, Une, you got a live-in lover?” Duo arched an eyebrow. “And, apparently, you like them young.”
“I am your elder, philistine! I am 800 years old!”
Duo glanced at Une. “Fine. You like them ancient, but spunky.”
The boy crossed his arms over his chest and stared back at them as though they were there to wash his feet.
He declared, “I am Chang Wufei of the Dragon Clan, the great sword smiths of the Orient. Your witch--”
“Sorceress,” corrected Une.
“Witch--”
“Sorceress,” said Une
“Witch,” growled Wufei.
“It’s ‘sorceress’ unless you want to spend the rest of your life eating bird seed,” snarled Une while leaning forward with a fist raised.
Wufei glared at her before explaining tersely to Duo and Heero, “Your woman made the mistake of combining foreign magic. Because of her, I have inadvertently regained my youth.”
“Foreign Magic?”
Wufei’s posturing diminished as he explained, “My grandmother turned me into a panda as a reprimand for my arrogance. The old hag died right after casting the spell. Because of her age and acquired experience, I could not undo it. It was only because of our common ancestry that I could weaken the spell. I can maintain my human form only by wishing on our family swords every 25 years, my age at the time the spell was cast. The swords are no longer in my possession. I have come to this country to reclaim them. I was on my way to do just that when your woman decided to kidnap me and turn me into a bird.”
Duo appeared pensive. “Wow, that really sucks for you.”
The flippant comment was too much, and Wufei made a move to charge at the prince.
“Restrain yourself, or I will,” growled Une while looking predatory and eager.
Wufei returned her glare, but he grew uneasy when he caught sight of a feather in her hand. It wasn’t there before…was she gearing up? He glanced down at his arms to check for any emerging quills.
Duo snickered at the tension between them. “Can we say ‘trouble in paradise’?”
Both Une and Wufei turned to glare at Duo. Strangely, the prince was turned on by this double-barreled ocular assault.
“Ironically, your woman’s foolishness has led me to the man I sought.” Wufei brought his full attention to Duo. “You traveled to the Orient two years ago.”
“Yeah…and?”
“You acquired a sword there.”
“What’s your point?”
“You and your opponent have my swords in your possession.”
“Your swords? Opponent?” Duo blinked back at him.
“The woman.”
Duo looked even more confused. “What woman?” He pondered. “I haven’t been with a woman since--” He suddenly became conscious of three pairs of eyes looking his way. He coughed and became pensive. Orient…swords…opponent...a woman. Then it suddenly dawned on him what Wufei was talking about.
“Hey, wait, are you that old guy who made us battle for those swords?”
Wufei didn’t appreciate being referred to as “that old guy” but he answered, “Yes. I realized that I had only a few years to live. I am the last of my line and I wanted to pass on my belongings to the worthy, with worthiness determined by battle ability. Out of many, you were one of the two who prevailed.”
Skeptical, Heero looked at Duo.
“Hey, what the hell are you trying to say, Heero? I can handle myself in battle.”
“Against a woman.”
“Shut up, Heero. You haven’t met Hilde. She’s got more testosterone than Wufei over there.”
“Hilde?”
“Hilde Schbeicker. You know her?”
Heero had gone white.
Duo shrugged and returned his attention to Wufei. “If you needed the swords, why did you give them away?”
“I…forgot.”
“You forgot that you needed those swords to stay human??”
“At 800 years old, not everything works the way it should,” said Wufei with his head bowed.
Une began to snicker.
Everyone ignored her.
Duo smiled good-naturedly. “Well, I’m not going to just stand by and let you turn into a panda, although it _would_ be funny. I’ll hand it over. Now, all you have to do is track down Hilde. But then again, she might not have it. If I remember correctly, she said something about giving the sword to her fiancée as a gift for his fidelity.” Duo shrugged. “Whatever.”
Wufei took a step forward. “Who is he?”
Duo shrugged again. “Like I know. After she got her sword, she went on her way. Didn’t even invite me over for dinner.”
“I don’t care about dinner,” said Wufei. “I need more information.”
“Well, you found me right? So, do the same thing to find Hilde.”
Duo blinked back at Wufei. From his stance, Wufei appeared more disgruntled but his face was hidden by the fall of his dark hair. He was looking at the stone floor as he grumbled, “I was told by a soothsayer where to find you.”
“Oh.” Duo looked at Une. “Ohhhhhhhh. Yeah, that might be inconvenient…given…”
“You don’t need a soothsayer,” murmured Heero. “Her fiancée is here. In the dungeon.”
After taking in Heero’s dark, yet shaken, expression, Duo began to laugh, loudly and obnoxiously. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Wufei leaves his country and comes looking for me in order to get one of his swords back…Une turns him into a bird…he meets me because of it and finds out that the person who has the second sword is not Hilde but her fiancée …who just happens to be the guy Heero wants to get into a negligee???”
Heero perked up. “A negligee? I hadn’t thought of that.”
Everyone decided to ignore Heero.
Duo shook his head. “Wow, this kind of stuff only happens in fairytales. Or, in stories with little character, plot, and setting development.”
Countdown: 18 days remaining