*italics*
\\ // Duo's thoughts
## ## Heero's thoughts
Amazing. Although Doctor J and Professor G were separated, first by distance and second by the communication embargo between colonies, they were on the same wavelength. War had been the Gundams method of retaliating against OZ, but J and G were beginning to see this as a bit problematic. Wars were not won and lost by soldiers; J and G and, consequently, Heero and Duo had begun to realize that it was the people's hearts and minds, not the action of the soldiers, themselves, that determine the outcome of wars. And, as of that moment, the hearts and minds of the people demanded peace, and more specifically, pacifism. The people were tired of news of battles, of coups, and of failures. They didn't want any part of it. Pacifism was the new fad. And, although it was not the Gundams preferred method of dealing with OZ, the pilots themselves were learning that any resistance to OZ, even nonaggressive, was better than nothing. For this reason, Heero and Duo were asked to take on this mission to protect the flame of pacifism. And, this mission took them to Roquet Academy.
Roquet Academy was the alma mater of the heir to the Argent Throne, a very powerful and respected kingdom. Since the old king's health was ailing it would only be a matter of weeks before the power was passed to his son, Prince Cruz Quiniento. For OZ, the object of concern was Prince Quiniento's political leanings. The prince was an adamant pacifist and, although he was young, he had gained favor with some of more ambivalent monarchies. In addition to this, he was well liked, a great motivational speaker, and pleasing to the eye. These three things ensured that the public would listen to him with an intent ear. As king, he would offer powerful support to the Sank Kingdom's pacifism machine.
A ceremony in honor of the prince was to be held in two weeks at the Roquet Academy. OZ would no doubt make its move on the Prince before that time arrived. Heero and Duo were there to make sure that move never succeeded.
They were roomed together, again. Duo shook his head confusedly.
\\What am I supposed to feel? Grateful? //
Duo looked at Heero from the corner of his eye. Across the room, the wing pilot was making his bed. Perched at the end of his own bed, Duo looked around the room.
\\We lucked out big time on this mission…this place is pretty posh. I guess it would have to be for a prince to attend here.//
Roquet was a well-to-do school, money not merit was the deciding factor for enrollment, a fact that was glaringly obvious Duo. He thought of his forged credentials. According to them, he was the ward of wealthy childless couple.
\\Even when I'm hiding my identity, I'm still an orphan who people take pity on.//
Once again, Duo's eyes returned to Heero's form. The pilot was now setting up some items on his desk.
\\Too bad the word “pity” isn't in Heero's vocabulary.//
Duo lay back on his bed.
\\If I wanted to, I could have easily found him. All I had to do was follow the media's coverage of Relena's travels. Wherever Heero goes the little princess is sure to be.//
Duo wasn't being malicious when he thought this; he was merely stating a fact. In the past 5 ½ months, on tv and in the news, wherever Relena landed there coincided an attack in the area by a “winged” gundam. Duo made a disgusted face. He wondered why no one in the OZ military had noticed that correlation…
\\Just follow Relena she'll lead you right to Heero.// Duo closed his eyes. He could hear Heero moving about the room. \\It's been nearly six months…and I still can't get the taste of him out of my mouth…//
Heero busied himself with inane tasks. There only so many wrinkles you could straighten, only so many files you could arrange, only so many things out of your barely-there luggage you could fiddle with before you ran out of busy work. This was the case with Heero. It was too quiet. No, it wasn't the quiet that put him at unease. It was the fact that *Duo* was quiet that unnerved him. How could he have not forseen this? It was a big world but the five pilots always seemed to run into each other…always seemed to end up in pairs. He had escaped Duo for nearly six months. What made him think he could avoid Duo forever? Heero looked over to Duo's side of the room. The pilot was lying on his bed, on his back, with an arm thrown over his eyes. Heero watched as Duo gnawed on his bottom lip. The wing pilot returned to his desk. He had yet to unpack his laptop.
##It's nearly been six months…and I can still feel the whisper of his hair against my lips …##
In Heero's hands, the laptop suddenly felt heavier than usual.
It had been dark outside for hours and lights out was mere minutes away. As Duo walked out of their room's adjoining bathroom, he wondered if things between he and Heero would ever return to normal. A bittersweet smile tugged at Duo's lips. Had things *ever* been normal between them? He shook his head. And, it didn't appear likely that things ever would.
Since Wiltshire, night had come to mean something else to Duo. Night was no longer a time for rest, a time for slumber and sweet dreams, it had become something else entirely, something tortuous. At night, memories Heero's heated caresses, the tang of his unique scent, and the feel of Heero's tongue parrying with his own haunted Duo. Yes, night, and more specifically the darkness had come to signify something else entirely… As he crawled into bed and slipped beneath his covers, Duo licked his lips as he looked over at the cause of his discontent. Across the room, the outline of Heero's curved form was visible through the pilot's blanket.
Sitting up on his elbow, Duo reached over to switch off his own side light. The main light for the room was already off and Heero's side lamp was the only source of illumination in the room.
The call signaling lights out resounded down the hall outside their room. Duo continued to rest on his arm waiting for Heero to turn off his light. It was very unlikely that an RA would come to make sure all their lights were off. From what he gathered, Roquet only enforced the fundamental rules; being in bed by 10:30 p.m. wasn't a must, even for freshman. After 15 minutes of careful consideration, Duo decided to speak. He spoke, choosing his words carefully.
“Ne, Heero, aren't you going to turn off that light?”
With his back still facing Duo, Heero answered, “I've grown accustomed to sleeping with a light on.”
Duo steeled himself against disappointment. He lay back against his pillow and thought. \\So, that's the way he wants it. Fine, I can play along… but on my terms…//
Duo stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his middle. It was a Saturday morning and they had already spent two days at Roquet. He leaned against the bathroom's doorframe and watched Heero type at his laptop. Duo smiled.
“You know what Heero? I really appreciate this bathroom.”
Heero's hands stilled over the keyboard.
“I mean. It's such a small thing …having this bathroom to ourselves…but I love it. Just the guarantee of a fresh shower after a hard day…even if it's not every day, is something the look forward to…” Duo stopped leaning against the doorframe and backed into the doorway. He put a hand on the doorframe. “Don't me wrong. I'm not complaining about our lifestyle. Hell, I'm actually disappointed when I don't get shot at…but just knowing this bathroom is here…waiting for me …sort of makes all the angst …worthwhile... ”
Heero turned a little to look at Duo. He kept his eyes riveted to Duo's face. His voice was measured as he asked, “What's the point of looking forward to that shower when there's no guarantee you'll return to it?”
Something clicked in Duo's head. “*That's* the point…you should savor what little you have…because you never know when you'll breathe your last breath.” Duo's hand began to move up and down the doorframe suggestively. “It's the little…or maybe *not* so little pleasures…that make this life worth living, that make this life worth fighting for…”
Heero turned away and once again faced his laptop. He could hear Duo's towel drop to the floor. Heero's fingers refused to move. Once he heard the rustling of clothing as Duo dressed, he was finally able to will his fingers into motion.
##Schematics…##
Duo walked to Heero's desk and leaned over it so that his braid pooled on the spot beside Heero's laptop. Heero's hands continued to type furiously and his eyes remained fixed on the laptop's screen.
“Heero, I have an idea.”
Heero could feel Duo's breath wash over his face.
The braided pilot placed his hand over the laptop's keyboard. Duo's hand hovered an inch above Heero's. The wing pilot had no choice but to stop typing. “How about we switch places for today?”
Heero gave Duo an incredulous look.
Duo's eyes twinkled mischievously. “You know. I'll do the hacking and the brooding while you socialize and try to divine any information. Can you do that?”
Heero simply said, “No one touches my computer.”
Duo rolled his eyes. “Don't be so territorial. I can remember at least two occasions where you didn't mind running you hands through *my* hair. Return the favor.”
Was Duo mistaken or was there a slight reddening of Heero's cheeks?
“Don't change anything,” said the wing pilot before he pushed his chair backwards and stood. Before leaving the room, he grabbed his coat and backpack.
With his eyes fixed on the door, Duo crossed his arms over his chest.
\\Oh, Heero, I'm going to make this mission *very* difficult for you. At least, as long as I can keep this cheerful act going…//
“You're back.” Duo turned from his seat at Heero's desk to greet the other pilot with a lopsided grin. He rubbed his hands together. “I managed to get a lot in the last two hours. Check this out.” Duo pulled up a file containing some data on Prince Quiniento.
“Here's a picture of Quiniento in his freshman year. Can we say geekville?”
In the photo, a short boy with a bowl cut hairstyle, glasses, and a too wide smile, squinted at the camera. “He must have gone through a metamorphosis or something because he looks totally different now.”
Duo brought of a picture of Quiniento from the previous year's Race Against Arms Summit. The geeky kid had turned into a sleek young male with moussed back medium length hair.
“Anyhoo, I went through his school records.” Duo's hands danced across the keyboard. “If I didn't know he was a pacifist, I'd be worried. He took courses on The Psychology of Mass Hysteria, The Psychology of Terrorism, The Chastisement of the Lower Class in Medieval England, The Evolution of Weapons of Destruction, and the list goes on…” Duo looked up at Heero. “How come the schools we usually go to never offer these courses? Anyway, after he left Roquet, he did a small stint at the Lake Victoria Academy, but nothing of interest, at least, as far as I can tell, occurred there. Then, after that, I looked into the guest list for this upcoming shindig. I crosschecked most of them, basically seeing who belonged on the list and who did not. Those who have had prior contact with him, representatives of kingdoms that do commerce with Argent, fellow pacifists, and that sort passed the bill. After all that I found, there were only 14 people who I couldn't identify. Their pasts were clean, but there was no identifiable reason for them having a special invite. Nine of those people were from the Argent Kingdom, so they may just be friends of the prince. And, the last five were from the Sank Kingdom.”
Heero's body stiffened. “The Sank Kingdom?” Those were the first words Heero had spoken since he entered the room.
“It speaks…” \\I thought that would peak his interest// Duo turned to look at Heero. “You'll never guess who else was on the guest list. I mean, other than Relena; *that* was a given.”
“Other than Relena?…”
Duo rolled his eyes. “Yes, other than Relena! Do you go brain dead every time that girl's name is mentioned? Try to think of who might have been on the list.”
“I can't think of anyone who would matter.”
Duo tried to keep himself from swearing. “Quatre. Quatre is on the guest list. It's been a while since we've seen blondie…I'm kind of wondering if we should contact him…nah. We'll surprise him…”
“I don't like surprises.”
Once again, Duo rolled his eyes. “So, what did you find out? Make any friends?” \\Like that's possible…//
“I've found out we won't need to crash the party. As of this morning, all current students of Roquet are invited. It was the Prince's decree.”
“Why?”
“According to the school newspaper, he wants his 'entire family to be present.' ”
Duo leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. “This guy's creepy. What's his problem?”
“Isn't it obvious? He's a pacifist.”
\\The world's gone crazy. Heero just made a funny.//
It had been a week and the mission would doubtlessly draw to a close in matter of a days. Just three days until the ceremony. Just three days until Heero had no reason to stay in Duo's company.
\\Desperation makes a guy do funny things. I admit it. Patience isn't my strong point…//
Every night for the past week, Heero had slept with his side light on. It was harsh reminder of the distance Heero wanted to keep. Finally, Duo decided that he'd had enough. He removed all the bulbs from the room.
Dusk had fallen and Duo waited quietly in the dark room for Heero to return from whatever he was doing. Two hours passed before the door to their room pushed open to reveal Heero. Duo remained still and quiet in the darkness and was proud to discern that Heero hadn't even noticed his presence. Heero walked into the room and idly made a move to switch the main light on. There was a definitive click but no light. The only light came in from the two windows in the room, and that, itself, was next to nil. Annoyed, Heero stalked over to the little table by his bed. There was another “click” but still no light. A growl escaped Heero's throat before he strode over to Duo's side of the room to try *his* lamp; another “click,” another failure. Heero began to walk back to the door. Duo took the opportunity to tackle Heero from behind. Duo straddled his waist and pinned the Wing pilot's wrists to the floor. Heero's face was pressed against the ground as he struggled furiously with his attacker. Duo finally spoke up, “Count this all as a dream!”
Heero tensed up as his own words from long ago were thrown back at him. Heero could feel Duo's nagging erection pressing into his back. Heero made no move to struggle. He knew where this was going.
Breathing hard in the darkness, Duo shifted, purposely allowing his rigid manhood to move suggestively over Heero's back. With his voice a low rasp, he asked, “Do you know what this is pressing into your back?”
“Get off of me, Duo. Don't make me hurt you.”
A bitter laugh greeted Heero in the dark. “I've been on my best behavior all week, Heero. Don't you think I deserve some kind of reward?
“Duo…” Heero growled.
Duo put more of his weight on Heero. “Not fair is it? You're so helpless right now. It's dark. We're alone. There nothing stopping me from taking some liberties…but, then again, you *could* fight back. Perhaps, you want to hit me right now? It's justifiable under these circumstances. You hurt me before. What's to stop you from doing that now?” He could feel Heero tense beneath him. “Why'd you leave me, Heero? I was playing by your rules…I thought with the lights out, without having to look at me you could finally allow yourself to care for me. But what was I thinking? You were just looking for a willing body in the darkness to satisfy… to satisfy *what* you unfeeling bastard?”
Duo released his hold on Heero's wrists and rolled off of him.
“There are no lights on, Heero. Talk to me.”
They lay side by side before Heero rolled over in order to put some distance between them.
After minutes of silence, Heero asked, “What makes you want me after all of this?”
Duo chuckled softly in the darkness, “What makes you think I had a choice? After what we had, how could I desire anyone else? You are like a drug, Heero. I know you're bad for me but I just can't help myself.”
“Such lack of control, Duo. How fitting of you…”
“Not everyone can be a hard-ass like you, Heero. People feel. People hurt. People accept their fate to crawl upon this earth seeking pleasure before death smites and collects them. We owe that much to ourselves to seek happiness in whomever's arms we can find it.”
“There's only one problem with that: what if there is no happiness? What if there is only endless regret and suffering? What if this pursuit of happiness is nothing but another manner in which for us to stumble?”
Duo was silent before he asked cautiously, “What am I to you, Heero?”
After some moments in the quiet darkness, Heero relented and finally answered, “You signify pain, Duo. You represent false hope.”
“You can't mean that, Heero.”
Heero let out a soft exhalation before responding, “You always say that you despise lies, but, every time we touch, that is what everything is, a lie. Those months without you taught me that… and I am not about to make the same mistake again.”
Duo hesitated before saying, “You can't be serious, Heero…especially after we--”
“Don't…”
Duo could feel what little pride he had left leave him. His voice was small as he asked, “Isn't there anything I can do to change your mind? You can't just throw away ---You can't treat people the way you do…not everyone is some trifle to be discarded when you through with them…Anything. I'll do anything. Just name it…”
Heero's lips moved soundlessly in the darkness. “…”
“I'm serious. Anything you want, as long as we can be together.”
“You don't know what you are saying…there's nothing--”
“Are you so sure?”
Three days later at the ball
Both Heero and Duo were dressed smartly in their tuxedos. It was a black tie affair and all around them people were decked out in their finest gowns and suits. Rolls of shimmering chiffon, satin, and silk twirled as ladies were whisked by their partners across the dance floor. Men, clad in glossy black tuxedos, promenaded with the lovely ladies who were too bashful to dance. It was nice. It was nice being surrounded by such luxury. Duo sighed with great appreciation at the well-supplied buffet. Everything was so nice. Even Heero's coldness couldn't ruin this evening.
A shrill call knocked Duo out of his trance. Honey blond hair whipped past him leaving a trail of lilac scented air behind.
“Heero,” the excited girl with the honey blond hair squeaked nearly out breath.
“Relena,” Heero acknowledged in his own intense way.
Duo shook his head. God had a way of punishing everyone. Relena seemed to be God's way of getting to Heero. Suppressing a smirk, Duo strode over to the recently reunited Heero and Relena.
With a gallantry that surprised him, Duo said, “Good evening, Relena. You are looking especially lovely this evening.”
Heero shot Duo an exceptionally lethal death glare.
\\So, he doesn't like me cozying up to Relena. Well, guess what? You don't own me, Heero.//
With the same measure of courtesy, Relena curtsied before saying, “Thank you, Duo. You and Heero look equally as charming in your tuxedos.”
But, Duo wasn't joking when he said that Relena looked beautiful, because she did. In fact, she bordered on exquisite. She was wearing an ice blue gown with a corset style bodice and a skirt that contained a wide flowing train. The corset lifted her bosom nicely so that the swell of her breasts was visible. To compensate for the daring neckline, a series of five silver and diamond necklaces encircled her throat and ended just above her cleavage. Her hair was glossier than ever. Sections of it were twisted then pulled into a loose bun and tendrils of fine honey hair fell sweetly to frame her face, giving her a romantic look. Maybe the long period of time since Duo had seen Relena had softened his dislike of her. Maybe Heero's coldness had put everything into perspective. But whatever it was, Duo felt no ill will towards the ever-talkative aristocrat. Relena was a bit annoying but she was neither cold-hearted, nor disloyal. She never denied nor suppressed her feelings, unlike a certain pilot of Wing Gundam. No, Relena wasn't the enemy. They were both in the same boat, longing for a guy who hadn't the balls to love anyone, let alone himself.
Duo interrupted Relena's one-woman conversation on how good it was to see everyone, especially Heero, to ask, “Relena, will you honor me with a dance?”
Both Heero and Relena stared at Duo as if he had something crawling out of his nose. Duo ignored them both and extended his hand in a gentlemanly fashion. He locked his eyes with Relena before saying, “We gundam pilots are allowed so few pleasures off the battlefield. Please, do not deny me this.”
\\Eat that, Heero,// Duo thought vehemently.
To his surprise, Relena didn't put up much of a fight before she accepted his hand. He led Relena out onto the ballroom floor. Carefully, he grasped her hand in his and placed his other on her trim waist. As they spun around, Duo shot furtive glances at Heero who, to Duo's amusement, was scowling furiously. \\So, I hit a nerve.// Relena, in the mean time, was also straining to see Heero as they danced.
Seeing the foul look on the Japanese boy's face, she asked, “Duo, how is Heero?”
He stopped peering over Relena's shoulder to, actually, look at her. He could see concern written on her brow. “Huh, what do you mean?”
She paused for a moment, “You've been around him more than I have. How is he? What has he been up to?” She blushed furiously before saying, “Don't leave out a single detail. I rarely get to see him.”
“Rele--”
“I know this sounds terribly desperate of me--”
“No, no, it's fine. I know what it is to be denied that which is so close…yet so undeniably far away…” Duo coughed, self-conscious of his own admission. Relena looked at him curiously. But Duo ignored the questioning look and continued on, “Heero's been Heero: complex, quiet, cold, intense...” \\And a tease// his mind added testily. “But being around him somehow makes up for that. It's strange. As uncaring as he can be, one can't help feeling awed by him. It's like when you look into his eyes--”
“You can see that which has the power to destroy or create you… in those eyes...”
They were silent for a moment, allowing the music to drift pleasantly around them.
\\God, we've got it bad.// Duo sighed squeezing Relena lightly in his arms. Who would have thought Relena Peacecraft could have any inkling of how he felt about Heero. Duo knew Heero intrigued her, but he never thought there was any depth of feeling present. \\Perhaps, I have underestimated Relena.//
Finally Relena spoke aloud, “There is something else on my mind. Heero seems different somehow. He seems,” her mind struggled for the appropriate word, “strained.”
Duo laughed, “Relena, come on! Heero's not known for his serenity. The guy's a time bomb waiting to go off. Of course, he looks strained! He can't bear to be out of his usual spandex and tank top. The dress code in this place is killing him!”
Despite herself, Relena laughed, but she sobered quickly. “No, I'm serious. Look at him.”
They both turned to gaze at Heero. Transfixed, they both stared at him for great while. Then a young blond gentleman stepped into view smiling brightly at the scowling Heero.
“Quatre,” Duo exclaimed as he whirled Relena into the direction of Heero and the beaming blond. As he reached the pair, Duo dipped Relena. With a goofy smile on his face he helped her up and said sheepishly, “I saw that in a movie once and always wanted to do it.”
Quite to the surprise of the others, Relena admitted, “I always wanted to do that too.”
“Quatre, it's great to see you, man,” exclaimed Duo as he dragged Quatre away, purposely leaving Heero to Relena.
“It's great to see you too, Duo. I didn't know you and Heero would be here. How?”
Duo shook his head tiredly. “What's the only reason we'd be here? Another mission-”
The blond youth nodded sagely, “Then, you know?”
Duo fixed a quizzical stare on Quatre, “Know what?”
“What they're planning to do to Cruz--”
“You mean Prince Quiniento? Since when are you on a first name basis with the heir to the Argent throne?”
Quatre flushed. “We've known each other since we were children. Our fathers--”
Duo waved the explanation away, “Ok, that doesn't matter. Tell me what you know.”
“Somehow Rashid received word that a battle between OZ and 'rebel' forces will be staged some miles from Roquet. Eventually, the battle will purposely drift off course and Roquet will be caught in the crossfire.”
Duo paled. “We never anticipated this. They're not going to just take Quiniento out. They're striving to do away with all the troublesome pacifists in one blow…”
“You *didn't* know…then what was your mission?”
“It was vague to begin with. We were told to protect the flame of pacifism…Prince Quiniento's name was mentioned so we assumed…oh, man, we assumed wrong…I was so caught up with Heero…I should have seen this coming…corner the pacifists…destroy them and make it look like an accident. Then, of course, the 'rebels', namely fighters like ourselves will be blamed…K'so”
Quatre's ears picked up on the mention of Heero's name but he dared not question Duo. The pilot seemed more than a tad worked up.
“When will all this go down?”
“According to the information I've been able to gather…we have thirty to forty minutes…”
Duo quelled an urge to swear. “That's when they give the award to Quiniento. Everyone will be a bunch of sitting ducks…knowing all this, what are you doing here, Quatre?”
“I…I came to tell everyone to evacuate…but since you and Heero are here…”
Duo's grin was predatory. “We can teach OZ to save their sneaky tricks for someone else…”
Quatre looked relieved. “We should tell Heero.”