Elevator Love part 21
By Tralla
<<recollection>>
I fell asleep. From the feel of it, I’m on the floor, still half asleep, dazed. My back, at least the lower portion, is against a wall. My legs are lax and against the carpet. My arms are lax as well, at my sides. My hands are resting palm side up. It’s a feeling. I was put here. My eyes open. My gaze rises. I don’t move the rest of my body.
Through my hair, I see a partial image of him, and then two of him...and I remember. I remember the sticky feel of the knife in my hand. I remember how my other hand, as I brought it to my head, still smelled like the apples I had cut. I felt dizzy. I’d dropped the knife and after that I don’t remember. I must have passed out. All I do is pass out.
Two of him. Two versions of his voice are going back and forth, each with a distinct cadence. One is anxious and outraged. The other is diplomatic with traces of unease.
I remain still and listen.
It’s the diplomatic one. “Accept that you’re the problem. You can’t make him happy.”
It’s the angry one. “If I hear that again...” There’s a sigh. It’s perturbed and defeated. “You don’t listen. Why don’t you listen to me? We agreed to let him go. You are not supposed to follow--”
“Then what were your intentions? Why are you here?”
There’s a long silence. Then I hear breathing. It’s heavy. “You’re right. I was intending to do the same.”
It’s the diplomatic one. “His posture has changed. He’s awake.”
Unbeknownst to my conscious self, my body had begun to shift, and now it’s being wayward. My head is moving upward. My hair is no longer compromising my view. I can see them and I can identify which one came in first. It took passing out for me to regain some of my sensibilities. They’re not clothed the same way. The one who came for me is at my left. The one who came in from the study is at my right. My back is against the wall, as is my head as I look up at them. Calm, I’m eerily calm. They’d stayed on separate sides, possibly even while moving me. They’re staying away from each other, avoiding sharing close space, as though they’re afraid of one another. Afraid...I find some comfort in that. But they quickly strip it away as I murmur, “Twins...twins...”
“Not twins...no...”
The words didn’t come from one mouth. They said it in unison...with the same cadence, with the same pained look.
They turn to each other and then back to me. “Don’t trust him, Heero. He isn’t real. I built him.”
Built.
A ripple from stomach to throat just passed through me.
But I don’t throw up.
My legs are moving for me, causing me to stand. My body is whispering malicious things, deprecating things. It’s telling me that I’m going to soil myself. It’s only a matter of time.
But my mind is willful, still in control. It’s pushing, moving my lips and tongue, working my jaw, stimulating my vocal cords. “You’re lying. You’re both lying.”
“I’m not--”
Once again, the words were spoken in unison. They turn on each other.
“Stop it. Stop imitating me!”
Their fists are raised and they’re leaning towards each other.
“You can’t do this!”
Their fists drop and they’re facing me, pleading with me.
Pleading...
“Don’t believe anything he says!”
They’re both saying it. There’s no one to believe, yet they’re still trying.
I’m disoriented. Echoes. There are echoes. There’s a slight delay... They’re not perfectly in sync. One’s just a half second behind the other. I can hear it, but not see it on their lips. I can’t tell who…who’s speaking first...I can’t tell who...if I believe them...is the original.
My legs are shaking, giving away my apprehension. They both look worried and weary.
I’m leaning on the wall.
They’ve calmed down. “I made him by myself…but with help…if Sally, Wufei, Trowa, Duo, and the others…weren’t …I couldn’t have…they provided...research…”
They’re moving closer, but stop when I look up.
“He is the best I’ve ever built. And I hate him. I hate him because he thinks…he doesn’t listen…he thinks…and acts on his own. I should never have…”
Flashes...recollections. Things that seemed odd now make sense.
<< “I’m not doing anything special, just expanding on the technology already available.” >>
I finally get it.
The two are speaking to me once again.
“I never told you where Duo and I met.”
He never told me, but the braid did. I know how they met. The braid was at Caltech, newly graduated. He met the blonde after the ceremony, at the reception. The blonde had returned to Caltech for his class’s 5th year reunion. He’d arrived early and opted to make an appearance at the reception for recruiting purposes. He’d returned for his 5th year reunion and he and the braid are the same age.
I’m sweating. Businessman first, boy genius second, and this is the result: an identical android double with artificial intelligence.
I’m going to throw up.
They both look concerned and take a step towards me.
“Stay...away from me....” The words came out as a growl, something a cornered animal would make.
They’d both winced at the sound of it.
My chest is moving faster. Something is loose. I’m panting, but I haven’t been running. I close my eyes. My back is against the wall.
They’re talking. They’re still explaining, trying to cultivate my understanding with a soft tone and temperate words. Tentative. They’re being exceedingly tentative with me.
“This all started because I wanted out. I wanted out of the life my father had decided for me... I couldn’t oppose him, not directly. This was my circuitous route: a replacement.”
“And now I’m trying not to be replaced. You’re the problem, Heero.”
<< “You never asked me what I wanted. Why don’t you question...anything?” >>
I open my eyes. They’ve gotten closer.
They’re still approaching me as they say, “If we hadn’t met you, my decision to stay never would have been a problem...because it never would have come about.”
<< “The problem is...I should never need anyone’s intervention.” >>
They’re right in front of me and I’m frozen.
“He’s more than fit to remain here. He knows everything...everything that I was capable of putting into words... He can almost imitate me perfectly. He can simulate pain. He’s seen me in it. He’s helped me cause it. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
<< Sally is continuing her doctoral research on tissue regeneration after neurotoxin exposure.” >>
I understand. I understand perfectly. The double isn’t just a reproduction.
He’s part of him. Physically and mentally.
“You can end this.” They both reach out a hand. Both hands attempt to stroke my face, each hand to a cheek. I realize both hands are equally warm as they continue, “Don’t let him win. Tell him which one of us is the better Quatre Winner. Prove to him that his greatest mistake was persisting in taking my place.” They both look sad, but hopeful. Their hands are now in my hair.
But I can’t fall for the soft looks and the gentle but needy hands. I was tricked. I was lied to. And, now, is he using me to see if his experiment...his artificial self...can, ultimately, pass as himself? I have already failed to tell the difference. Which one had I met that day in the elevator? Which one invited me into this house and this way of life? Which one? Which one? I can feel my stomach churning, but their hands are still about me, still caressing, still waiting for me to voice my answer. But I can’t forget. I feel my hands rising as my mind voices what my stomach has already manifested.
The thought that something mechanical behind the guise of human flesh had…the thought that I— I...trusted him. I trusted him, and now I can’t tell who to despise.
My body knows the remedy before my mind does.
I break past them and reach toward the floor. I grab the knife I used to cut the apples with.
My mind catches up.
<< “He can almost imitate me perfectly.” >>
Almost.
I’m shaking, but my voice is steady and low with threat as I say to them,
“Only one of you can bleed.” I raise the knife. “Profusely.”