Lyrics taken from Saliva's “My Goodbyes” (I love this song. Listen to it if you get the chance)

[ ] lyrics

[Hey precious daddy
can you hear me now?
From the lost and found
Although you're six feet underground]

The wind whipped needlessly around the group of strangers turned friends. Dressed in varying garbs, ranging from black to cream, each individual found one more reason to sigh as the last mound of dirt was placed over the coffin. The years had been kind to them, giving them the chance to know love, family and friendship. And now, they were witnessing the inevitable.

[In the mirror I can see your face
Just another trace
Of all the tragedy you passed down]

Hilde stood draped in fine layers of black. It was her beloved's favorite color; he wore it always. And, now the color that cloaked a spry adolescent, a handsome young adult, and a charming old man was now a color of mourning. None of this was real to her, even now, even with the tears threatening to fall.

[There are times when I can hear your voice
It's just like my voice
And it still haunts when you come around]

Hilde held the final rose in her hand. She reached out, letting it hover over the mound of freshly turned, rose-sprinkled earth. And, she let go. The rose spiraled downward until meeting with the dark soil. And she finally felt it: part of herself cracking. Then she felt something else: a hand on her shoulder.

[I feel like I wasted time
when I didn't have you on my mind.
I feel like I'm all alone,
How could I have known
You would leave me here alive.]

Cobalt eyes surrounded by graying lashes greeted her as she turned around. The hand squeezed her shoulder. There were no words to say. They both understood what they'd lost. She and Heero turned back to the mound of dark brown soil.

[Oh my God, how did I make it this far?
Why can't I be where you are?
My God I think I'm dying.]

Blearily, Hilde's blue eyes passed to all of their friends. They'd grown up and grown old together. And, now they would mourn together. She watched as Quatre knelt before the mound and brought a black-gloved hand to the soil. His now white hair was smoothed back in waves. He looked up at her, his blue-green eyes strangely serene. She wanted to ask him why…how could he be so… at ease? She bit her lip and buried her face in her hands.

[Precious daddy can you hold my hand
Like you did back then?
Can you forgive me of all my sins?]

Over the wind came a deep, soft voice. Heero's hand tightened on Hilde's shoulder. With a dry a face, she looked up. Quatre was speaking. Both his hands were pressed to the mound and his eyes lacked focus as he said aloud, “For the first time I find myself without words of comfort. And thank you…for teaching me…that sometimes…even I can't solve the world's problems…”

[Come to me and take this pain away
Cause it's all I see.
It would be heavenly to see you again]

There came another voice, deeper and more composed. Wufei stepped forward. His dark shoes tread soundlessly on the fresh grass at the side of the grave. He stopped and knelt, placing naked fingers to the cold earth. His gaze was directed at Hilde but he spoke to his lost friend. “Maxwell,” he said. With that one word, Hilde felt her entire frame jerk. She watched as the graying strands of Wufei's hair were carried from his ponytail to dance on the wind. “I'll never forgive you for making me soft… But my children thank you…and I…thank you.”

[I feel like I wasted time
When I didn't have you on my mind.
I feel like I'm all alone.
How could I have known you would leave my side]

“Duo.” Hilde turned at the sound of the voice. It came from the tree a couple yards to the east. She watched as Relena walked forward with Trowa. Their steps were paced evenly as they tread the distance separating them from the others. Relena brought an unsteady hand to her bosom. “You taught me…not to take myself… so seriously.” A particularly strong gust caught her; her body jerked backwards as her pale hair was sent flying behind her. A long, lean hand steadied her by grasping her arm. “And, because of you…I know love…” The rest of her message was drowned out by the howling winds.

[It all was so simple then when it all began, and I was your smile.
And now you're just words in stone,
You're just dust and bones
And I'll join you there in time.]

“Duo…you taught me what true friendship is…” Now, the voice was Heero's and as it wafted from behind to sweep past her ear, Hilde felt her legs go weak. It seemed everyone was making his or her peace. And, there was nothing left for her. She was sure of it. All she had was her anger.

[Oh my God, how did I make it this far?
Why can't I be where you are?
My God I think I'm dying.]

She watched as Sally, Noin, Zechs, and Catherine all said their goodbyes and thank yous. Their voices receded and she was only conscious of the winds whipping behind them. She watched their mouths move soundlessly. What did they know? They weren't married him, hadn't bore him children, hadn't laughed and cried with him…not way the way she had…not the way she wished she could now…

[Oh my God
Why can't you take it away
Or give me just one more day
Of just apologizing.]

And their eyes were on her now, hooded, mournful, but calm eyes. They'd said their part and now all they could do was wait for her to say her good-byes. A voice stopped her from stepping away from the comfort of Heero's hand. It came from close by and it was Trowa's. He'd stolen up to the grave without her noticing. She watched as his emerald eyes passed over the mound of earth before him. His voice was barely audible as he said, “You taught me…Duo, you taught me…”

And, with that one halting utterance, Hilde felt the final crack set itself in place.

[How could you take him from me?]

Hot tears zigzagged down her pale cheeks, ran past her chin and down to the collar of her priest-like vestment.

[It's like you spit in my face]

Her steps were jerky as she teetered over to the newly filled-in grave. Her bleary eyes scanned the length of dark fudge earth and finally met with the headstone.

[I've got his grandson to raise,
With no grandfather to say.]

The confirmation was too much; the tears came faster. Huge wells fell from her eyes and the chest-wracking sobs finally made themselves known.

[Don't let him end up like me
Cause he'll be down on his knees,
Asking you where could I be.]

And she was falling. Her legs grew quivery and inefficient. As if by reflex her hands shot out to steady her faltering body.

[I wonder what you would say?]

But, she wasn't allowed to lose control. Long arms and steady hands caught her. She shuddered against the salvaging appendages. But the cracks kept coming.

[I feel like I wasted time
when I didn't have you on my mind.]

She slumped against the figure, barely aware that it was Trowa's chest her face was buried in. Her tears soaked his shirt, leaving dark treads against the light gray fabric.

[I feel like I'm all alone.
How could I have known
You would leave my side.]

They stayed that way for a while, utterly still in a torrent of wild winds. Hilde's hands hung at her sides, but her fingers twitched, betraying her need to grab onto something. She was aware of the heartbeat pulsing steadily under her damp, salty lips. It continued to beat in the same calm, unrelenting rhythm even as her sobs increased in volume.

[It all was so simple then
When it all began,
And I was your smile.]

And, as sudden as it all began, she ran dry… She continued to press her face against the now soaked shirt. The heartbeat continued, pulsing against her lips. And soon she was aware of her own breathing. At first, it was drawn and shaky, sodden with moist intakes of air, but even that came to an end. She felt her hands curling at her sides as they formed fists. Her wedding band was pressed firmly between her fingers and the soft, dry flesh of her palm.

[And now you're just words in stone,
You're just dust and bones,
And I'll join you there in time.]

And then she felt it: a wet drop on the outside of her hand. And, then another one hit her forehead as took her head away from Trowa's chest. She looked up at him, both startled that he'd allowed her that close…after all these years…and that the drops continued to come not from Trowa but from the overcast sky. The drops were cold in their striking wetness and increased in number as they fell about the cemetery. They struck the earth, pelted the gravestones and descended on the group of friends in a volley of stinging drops.

[Oh my God, how did I make it this far?
Why can't I be where you are?
Oh my God I think I'm dying.]

But she forgot about the drops as she looked at the faces around her. They were damp with the falling rain, pale, but…focused. Noin, Zechs, Relena, Quatre, Catherine, Wufei, Sally, Heero and Trowa were around her, close by…The rain struck their heads, making their hair cling to their aged faces. She watched as beads of water streaked down their almost solemn expressions. And, yet she knew none of those beads were actually tears.

[Oh my God why can't you take it away
Or give me just one more day of just apologizing…]

The thought came again, although it was unwanted…They'd made their peace and now it was her turn. Duo had given them so much over the years---a brief sad smile caused her lips to part--- though his concern was often masked behind teasing and bouts of melodrama…but it was there, always. In his own jokester way, he'd kept them together, fostered them, and made growing old less of a “drag” for them, as he would say.

[Of just apologizing…]

Hilde's hands unfurled at her sides. They were all grateful. And, so was she. Her worn lips parted wider, slowly, and she felt the drops of water hitting them as she said, “I'll be with you soon enough...”